More Book Quotes

The word person comes from the latin word “persona” meaning mask.

The cows in New Zealand produce 900,000 tonnes of methane every year.

(On Gap years) If I were the parent of teenage children today I’d advise them to stay at home in their year off and experiment with heroin instead. Its a lot safer. – Jeremy Clarkson

An englishman’s home is not his castle. An englishman’s home is, as Bill Bryson once point out, a large, grey, tupperware box. A constant year round sea of endless misty greyness. – Jeremy Clarkson.

Book Quotes

So I have been reading a lot in Auckland thanks to my abundant spare time and proximity to Auckland City Library so here are a couple of quotes from books I have just read:

“No this misery was of the sit-in-front-of-the-TV-and-eat-bakewell-tarts kind. And she knew that depression was not to be taken lightly when it crossed the line into something that could end up making you fat.”

“Fehlen – to miss – had made the real sense clear to him: fehlen – to be absent from. ‘I miss you’ is really ‘you are missing from me.’ Its I’m incomplete because a part of me isn’t there, the part of me that you are. Du fehlst mir.

‘Das wetter ist affen titten geil’ – The weather is monkey tits horny.

Where Has Drew Gone?

Just on the off chance that you have come to my blog and wondering just where the hell I have disappeared to – I should direct you to my travel blog www.statravelblogs.com/andrewberrie its where all my travel ramblings have been getting posted albeit about 2 or 3 weeks after the event, but they’re getting there none the less. I am afraid they are however sensored for family viewing if you know me and wish to know the full filthy lot add my facebook group “Dirty Drew and Loose Lucy” you’ll find it on my profile or searching.

Later everyone, Drew x

If I Had 1 Million Dollars…

… I’d be happy that I’d won a dollar prize at a time when the pound was catastrophically low against it. So as one always does when short on blog ideas I turn to Davey Wavey who always has a a good question to answer. His first – what advice would you give your 14 year old self?

I said I’d tell myself to be less self concious. At school I thought A LOT about what people thought of me, unhealthily so, every year we had a day at school where we could wear whatever we wanted (otherwise it was a strict uniform of shirt, trousers and disgusting furry blazer) and I would spend hundreds of pounds on an outfit to wear. One year I came very close to wearing 1 thousand pounds worth of clothing I have very rarely worn since. I stopped eating lunch and snacks to lose weight and successfully lost a lot of weight and this continued into uni to the point that I passed out one day. So I suggested I exercise a bit more, eat healthier and try my best to be less self concious.

So I then realised that I was in fact STILL highly self conscious when asked his second question of the week – what would you do  with one million dollars?

My answer – buy many beautiful clothes, and  clothes that ultimarely together formed a style rather than the mish mash they currently form. I have plain clothes, high end designer clothes and some athletic numbers (abercrombie) together they form more of an awkward patch work quilt at best. And cosmetic surgery. I’d get some lipo around my stomach and thighs, get myself a new face, a skin peel, botox around my forehead and underarms for sweating. Ultimately I wanted to spend them all on a number of aesthetic shallow things and I somewhat disapointed myself. I didn’t think I was beyond such materialistic things by any means but I thought confronted with such a question I might answer with spend it on traveling, save some, buy a penthouse and whilst these answers did feature further down the hypothetical line they were all second to answers revolving around my appearance.

The conclusion of this blog – I’m still self-concious and not confident in myself. Bad times. But the question is what advice would you give your 14 year old self? AND what would you do with a million dollars?

A Weekend of Hot Men

So had a good weekend this week.

Went to GHQ on Saturday night and saw the oh so attractive and cute Austin from X Factor perform (yes I am a complete fag) was a little disappointed in his song choices – he just sang the songs he had sang on the show – I was dancing away wondering to myself why he thought these songs would prove more popular with the crowd than the great british viewing public, but I suspect it is probably because he was practising them for the X Factor Tour coming up. He did however look hot as fuck. Wearing a nice tight leather jacket, which was at some point removed, to reveal a nice tighter white T (alas this was not removed). If it is possible he looked even hotter in person than on TV. I would have molested him but there was a human wall of screaming gays between him and me so it clearly wasnt to be.

Was a good night, Johny who I went with ended up swiftly going home (or into the street, a brothel, or somewhere) with a particularly hot man we met, which was rather annoying, but thankfully said hot man had also abandoned a friend so we spent the night together talking and dancing with randoms.

Sunday was of course Superbowl Sunday and so we had stocked up on beer, crisps, microwave popcorn, we had fajitas for half time and chocolate chip muffins (I ain’t bluffin) for those of us with a sweet tooth. The game was good. There were some frankly shambolic points in the game. The Cardinals defense was fairly attrocious, but equally the Steelers left a massive gap in their defense allowing the Cardinals to catch up and make the end of the game really quite close – down to the last minute literally.

But wait a minute Andrew! This is supposed to be a blog entry about hot men, what possible man could I be refering to the majority of american football players a built like a brick house and overly muscular,. Well boys and girls meet Kurt Warner.

Not the best photo, but the man is hot and ripped and a damn good player, largely responsible (as most quarterbacks are) for the teams good performance (even tho they didn’t win). Had I not been watching the game with a room full of people I’d have been naughty.

I also discovered 90210. Its no gossip girl (which reminds me – new episode this evening  – yay!) but its some pretty good shit and far more importantly the men are HOT. The plot really is just secondary to the strutting stuff of the shirtless and perfect hunks. I don’t think theres really very much more to say – heres the evidence.

Adam Gregory

Dustin Milligan

Kelllan Lutz

*Drools* Also does anyone else think Adam Gregory looks ridiculously like James Marsden (Cyclops from X-men)? I feel they must be related. So thats it for this week kids. Some pics for your spank bank, a few perhaps worth committing to memory for those lonely nights. I promise I’ll become a man of substance in the near future. Til then I’ll be vaguely pornographic.

Drew x

Nothing to Fear but Fear itself?

Today Davey Wavey asked what is your greatest fear? And more generally what are you afriad of?

Well I’m scared of a whole hell of a lot of things.

I’m scared of heights, given something sold to hold on to and a reasonably sound structure I’m better, but not good – the ferris wheel on Princess Street is beyond me it scared the shit out of me and you’d think after going on it the once I’d have gotten over it and be fine, but no still scary. The Eiffel Tower on the other hand was OK because you were in a solid structure. The Arc de Triomphe steps scared me – with the seemingly on going nature of them – whilst the actual view from the top did not.

I’m scared of bugs, spiders, snakes, worms – all the typical creepy animal types, theres no reason for it whatsoever. With the exception of a few spiders, none of which I am likely to encounter regularly in Edinburgh, they can not hurt me, yet confronted with one I shall jump around the room like a lunatic wondering where the hell its gone – and I can genuinely not sleep knowing its still in my room somewhere I shall stay awake with some form of capture device (cup) trying to catch it whilst maintaining the maximum possible distance between us. They just make my insides shiver. God only knows how I am going to cope traveling as all our destinations including Oz and NZ are prob gonna involve me coming head on with a number of these creatures and in some cases (such as the rainforest) doing so intentionally.

But what am I scared of most? Well essentially I’m scared of growing old. Yes I realise its the most ridiculous fear, after all we are aging every second of the day, I’m aging as I type this blog entry, but it scares me and for a number of reasons. Firstly (as a particularly vain person) I don’t want to look old (as a particularly vain person I’d ideally like to better now), but the wrinkles, greying hair, loosing my hair, getting flabbier. Ugh!

But more so I’m scared of  growing old and achieving nothing. Dying and being rememberd for nothing. I want statues errected! A national holiday! Children in primary school taught of the life of Andrew Berrie, whilst teens inspire to the life that was. I want documentaries commissioned and books published. Ok so maybe thats a bit OTT, but I’d like to have achieved something, something notable, something that people will think “wow, thats impressive.” Life of late (I’ve just invented this phrase and I already love it – ‘life of late’) has been rather downward. Its the subject of quite a few depressing blog entries. Things just don’t always turn out how you’d like or hope and whilst my ‘life of late’ has been rather uneventful and not particularly distinguished I fear as I grow older I never achieve the things I hope to.

And the last reason for my fear of aging is that of being alone. It comes from a slightly broody place I’ve been in (one that will possibly make an upcoming blog entry and one I blame on Croxford somewhat and her continual use of the word ‘broody’ and suggestion that I have been ‘broody’ – god I hate that word). But I’m scared that as I grow older I’ll never find a love and as I grow older its only inevitable that I lose my friends to love – husbands, wives, significant others. I’m new to this whole love nonsense really I was perfectly happy being alone before, but recently I’ve been looking for more. And the idea of being all by myself in my old age with nothing but the tv and a laptop for company terrifies me.

So there you have it (a badly written and constructed blog of) my greatest fears. Now you know me just that little bit more than you really wanted to.

20th January 2009

…the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

A quote from Obama’s inauguration speech today (and one that actually took a while to look up) as I really liked it and felt it was an excellent sentiment for a new administration and for everyone as the year plows on. Lets leave the past in the past, think to the future and stop all the bullshit and just let everybody be happy for a change.

Anyways all in all I was impressed by Obama’s inauguration speech, what I found AWFUL was his pledge (?), allegiance (?) … the actual inauguration in which he first spoke over chief justice and then after correcting himself FORGOT the second half of what he had been asked to recite. It was cringe worthy – I actually hid behind a cover, as I happened to have one on me, it was that bad to watch. Thankfully he redeemed himself with the prepared speech, I can only assume he overlooked the recitation given he would be told exactly what to say and thought – how hard could it possibly be?

And talking of things that were bad – Aretha Franklin. Talk about being past it, she sounded like Bill Cosby on helium following a small stroke. She was incomprehensible. I’m assured it was the American national anthem, but it could have been her shopping list for all I knew. Given the very “future is now” theme of his speech I think he should just have got Beyonce (who was to sing at his Gala later) to sing the anthem, she’d have been awesome. I’m sure his kids would certainly have enjoyed it.

I was also somewhat disapointed in his choice of Reverand Rick Warren, particularly given the lovely quote of his I have adorned this blog with, given his homphobic stance, very public opposition to same-sex partnerships that lead to its being overturned in California and pro life (anti choice) views among other things. I was also rather surprised by the amount of mentions to God, given what I was sure was supposed to be a separtion between God and State. Yet the Reverand obvious gave a long sermon, there were several references to God made by Obama himself, and Senator Dianne Feinstein (the party planner). Whats with all the religion?

Anyways thats just my short 2 cents on the inauguration. A worthy man of the White House has been sworn in and the largest mistake in the history of time (with the possible exception of Jurassic Park – ressurecting dinosaurs? what were they thinking? of course it was going to go bad!) has been removed and sent packing back to Texas.

Where am I gonna live?

So first off shout out to Matt Byrd, any reader who isn’t Ailsa is always a surprise, so welcome! I’d also like to take the opportunity to thank you for taking George Bush back from tomorrow (Tuesday) as we see Obama inaugurated and apologise in advance for all the ridiculous times you shall no doubt have inflicted upon your dear state for the next few years (til the next pretzel comes along).

So this week in my travel prep I have among other things been focusing my attention on the 6 month working in New Zealand stint. It had always been my intention to do this in Queenstown. Its always full of backpackers and international travelers and as such got lots of fun bars and activities to do. However, in doing a little more research on the matter I found there’s not actually very much to do in Queenstown. Its very small with only a permanent residential population of 22,000 and besides bungee jumping and skiing the only thing to do really is drink with all the backpackers. Now I love drinking, don’t get me wrong, any excuse for a drink. However, I don’t think I can just occupy my time drinking myself into a coma in New Zealand. As I will be doing hospitality events I was also forced to ask myself how many weddings/conferences a hotel could possibly have in such a small place? To this end I have decided to live elsewhere, so instead I am applying to work in … Auckland!

So this is Auckland! Doesn’t it look pretty? So some info on Auckland. Its the largest city in NZ with some 1.3million people, which ridiculously actually represents about a third of the entire population of the country. And is actually made up of Auckland City, North Shore City and urban Waitakere and Manukau cities among other areas- its just swallowed up the surrounding towns as its grown. Its not that crowded as a result of all this growing, whilst its about the size of London in terms of size the populations about a sixth. Auckland ranks 5th best city to live in for quality of life (Sydney where I’ll be working in afterwards ranking 9th) so that’s awesome. For those interested in the list you can check it here. As a comparison London came in at 39.

Whats there to do? There’s loads of nice parks, there’s beaches, there’s a massive marina, 3 harbours – seemingly everyone owns a yacht in Auckland – museums, art galleries, plus in true New Zealand style about a hundred opportunities to hurl yourself off various buildings and monuments on a bungee cord. Everything you’ve come to expect from a metropolis plus beaches and bungeeing. Can’t go wrong.

There’s also a number of universities and apparently over 50,000 INTERNATIONAL students to be found in Auckland so I should be in good company. I’ll find the student bars and get hammered – its my go to in any unknown situation. Plus its got funky bars like Minus 5, the ice bar, and plenty of gay bars to keep me entertained where seemingly the majority incorporate “drag floorshows or male strip shows as part of the evenings entertainment” – I know which I’ll be going to. I’m also amused by the fact the majority of the gay bars seem to be found on “K Road” given the gay community’s affinity for the drug.

So yeah, not a long post or a particularly in depth or insightful post, but an update on whats going on with me at the minute as I couldn’t find anything particularly insightful or humorous to comment on (and believe me I tried to think of something). So I hope that’s satisfied your cravings for blogness. Til next time. xxx

What Do I Do?

Ok so first of all I’ve put all of my epic travel itinerary on to my blog here for all to read. It is the largest most comprehensive itinerary ever written, SERIOUSLY, it is not for the faint hearted. You can check it out to the right under pages.

But now to the point of my short blog entry here. As you can imagine traveling has a lot of technical issues, issues that I’ve now having to be paying attention to. Visas thankfully aren’t too much of an issue for us til South East Asia the others you can just pick up as you go along. Travel insurance is upsettingly expensive, as you must take it out for the entire duration of your trip (in my case 18 months) even tho I only want to take out the more expensive bungee jumping allowed travel insurance for the first 5. Its bloody rude! Yes it means whilst I’m working in New Zealand and Oz I’ll be covered and able to bungee jump and the like to my heart contentm however I’d rather have the cash frankly.

On the subject of cash another thing you need methods of payment. The other day I attempted to open a nationwide current account as their debit cards are commission free abroad, for some obscure reason they do a credit check … I was declined a current account on this basis. I wasn’t wanting a overdraft of any description (this was one of many questions of a long and lengthy questionaire) there would be no lending of any description, the bank could only possibly make money from my opening an account with them and yet I was refused. I didn’t bother in attempting to open the credit card I also wanted with them. I then tried to open a post office credit card (as it is also commission free) it told me they were unable to make an immediate decision and would inform me of it at a later date through the mail. Frustrated I thought I’d cheer myself up by opening a topman store card and taking advantage of the beneefits of this card when buying some new travel clothes in a month or so – I was declined the store card. Nobody but the most undesirable are denied store cards, I have opened many such cards for chavs in my time. I was not impressed. Thankfully I received a letter from the post office today with a pin number for a credit card so I can only assume they have accepted my application and shall be sending me a credit card. At what rate of interest and things I have no idea since they did not send such details so I’m still somewhat holding my breath, but I am hopeful. It does however still leave me in the annoying position of requiring a couple more means of payment.

I have also found innoculations to be quite annoying not in that they are painful or anything but in the riduclous manner one must attempt to obtain them, my doctors surgery like the majority in Edinburgh do not do them and they cost a fortune. Rabies costs about £40 per dose and you require 3 doses over a 3 week period. Given none of them are local I’m also going to have to be forking out ridiculous amounts to travel back and forth every week for a month. Not what one needs when attempting to save for traveling.

But what advice am I asking for you are asking yourself? What do I have to decide upon? My title would surely suggest such a decision and I can’t be asking for financial or medical advice, not when my main reader is one Ailsa Leslie. No I am asking what should be done with my hair? Its certainly not one of the great questions of life, it would not have trouble aristotle one bit. However, it needs cut, as hair has this annoying habit of growth, it has got to the point where it must be cut shortly, but what? Usually I have it cut to a medium length, dyed a beautiful shade of pale blond and straightened within an inch of its life, the dead inch of hair at the ends of my hair can attest for this, modeled on the gorgeous Mitch Hewer’s hairstyle or at the very least at some point inspired by it.

The delicious Mitch Hewer as Maxxie

So I need a new cut. One that will travel easily. I won’t be able to colour my hair or at least as much as I do presently as the sun will continue to bleach any colour (and since I colour it pretty pale it’ll end up white). Similarly I won’t be able to straighten it every day. I wouldn’t want to waste an hour of each day straightening when I could be out seeing a new country, I won’t always be in a position to have access to a plug and lastly my hair doesn’t particularly like humidity, given the slightest opportunity to return to its curls it will jump at the chance so straigtening would probably prove fruitless. So the question is whos barnet should ‘inspire’ my next hairstyle?

Chace Crawford? He’s sexy as anything and Gossip Girl and his hairstyle could possibly be achieved through simple blow drying and hair product.

A shorter spikier hairstyle perhaps? Should still be achievable with blowdrying and a hell of a lot of hair product.

Do I embrace the long hair and just wear it messier and use hair product a la Joe Jonas above?

Or do I stick with good old Mitch and embrace one of his shorter styles? Even then in all cases there is the question of my hair COLOUR. Having it made darker strikes me as stupid as it will obviously grow out whilst traveling. Highlights should be ok as long as I don’t have them done too pale, but conversely I’m worried that if I DON’T colour my hair the natural red hues in my hair will bleach in the sun and I’ll end up traveling with an awful ginger colour.

So what do I do people?! Leave your comments.

The Red Pill or the Blue Pill?

So another blog inspired by an Ailsa Leslie conversation – I mentioned how everyone’s favourite gay blogger (no not me) Davey Wavey had asked the online world, or his small gay corner of it anyway, whether they would want to be straight if they could change their sexuality. Like “do you give or take?” this is usually among the first questions (impolite) straight boys ask when they cross paths with a gay boy. And whilst one might argue this as evidence of a society that still looks upon the gay lifestyle as inordinary, wrong (… an abomination) it is probably most perpetuated by the fact my answer was yes, I would if I could be straight.

Cut to a look from Ailsa simultaneously exuding shock, disbelief, confusion and above all horror. “Why?” (I paraphrase) And it was when confronted with this question that I actually had to think. My answer had largely been one of instinct like “do you want dessert?” the answer springs forth before your brain has put down its book and realised you’re having a conversation with someone. And so is it something I feel deep down? Or is it society making me feel that I’m out of the ordinary (in a bad way not a  Superman type way)? In truth I think its a bit of both.

Being gay brings with it its own pressures, much like any other minority, you get your welcome pack, your membership card and your own personal pandoras box of problems for the rest of your life. Whoo! It starts with bullying at school. Now whilst its true that everyone is bullied at school, nothing gets the blood pumping in a red blooded straight boy than finding a gay to pick on. And whilst most bullying tactics are shed as these delinquents grow older the inane desire to bully gays somehow manages to cling on and continue into adulthood. And in many intensifies, whether this is the result of a vast testosterone imbalance or a losing football match, for whatever reason gay bashing is perfectly acceptable behaviour for straight boys among themselves. We’re secretly trying to get it on with them, converting them, generally making their manly macho world more gay and they don’t like that so lets hit them. I’ve had the misfortune of being hit in the face twice for no other reason than being gay on one occasion the guy actually stopped and asked me if I was before proceeding to hit me. And (ex-flatmate) Petey has been properly beaten up, if his face had been an apple it would not have got past EU regulations it was soo bruised.

Besides the hostile actions of others there’s the emotional ones we must make ourselves. Coming out is horrendous. End of sentence. It is one of the worst feelings in the world and yes it is a feeling as well as an action, because it is in these situations that you genuinely have no idea which way things are going to turn out. Having never had that many friends that are boys I’ve been lucky to avoid many people that haven’t taken it well, but in all honesty people that take it too well are just as bad. The point I am trying to make is that you tell people to have a better relationship with them, not to create an entirely new relationship. My telling you isn’t me,  in some kind of way, trying to subtly suggest you buy me some drag outfits, its me not feeling uncomfortable of mentioning some things or feeling the need to omit.

But the largest hurdle is that of society and society I apologise because you do get all the blame these days – ASBOs, binge drinking, knife crime. But its the honest truth I don’t feel comfortable being me, it isnt an internal dispute of emotions (well it is but not in this case) its me feeling uncomfortable going on a date, holding a guys hand, save for some places in Newcastle I’d never feel comfortable kissing a guy in public (in a non alcohol fuelled setting). You can feel people’s eyes burning into the back of your skull and it makes you feel like a bit of zoo animal.

I think being straight would just be easier. I’m not saying being straight is easy. This Ailsa Leslie was sure to point out. But these are a set of problems/insecurities that are unique to being gay. I’m sure straight boys have their own, but in the grand scheme of things and in my blatantly biased opinion mine far outweigh their own, they for a start are in no way a minority. Were we to be comparing the problems of being gay with being black, then I’d debate on the issue, infact let me feel more secure in the fact that I do not belong to a number of minorities. But I doubt any straight boys have been looking up which countries they’ll be traveling in they can safely admit to being straight. And infact Arron (Croxford’s boyfriend) has managed to make me even rethink my thoughts here, as his thoughts on the countries I should be more careful of are different to ones that I thought I should be. Which of us is likely to be the more accurate? The subject of any abuse or the boy who is possibly more likely to understand the straight boy thought patten? I guess we’ll find out.

Ultimately this question is entirely moot. You can’t change your sexuality, as much as people may like to think otherwise, and as much as “straight-acting” gay guys always like to say that their sexuality is entirely separate from their personality that is a load of bullshit. Your sexuality, along with the way you have lived and a number of external factors have lead to what makes you you. They are inseperable. Changing your sexuality would change your personality and that I’m not prepared to give up. So perhaps I’m answering the wrong question, not would you change to being straight if you could, to would you rather have been born straight. Although even then, divided on the issue of whether you are born straight or whether it is external factors you’ve still got a rather complex question there. And besides if there were a pill to switch you into a beer swilling, football watching straight boy I can only imagine the mark 2 “coming out” conversations…